Journal Entries From My 20-Year Old Self
I’ve been journaling for over 10 years now. I specifically write about my day-to-day activities. The highlight and lowest of my days.
However, I also consider my blog as an online journal. I’ve been blogging since 2012 and I still keep my old blogs in private.
I found these few journal entries I wrote back in 2014. I find it funny and cringy, to be honest. But at the same time, the things I wrote are confronting.
The reality that I had back then was confusing. I feel like I was in an adventure of navigating my life as an adult, of knowing myself deeper, and experiencing life in general.
I am still figuring out my life and I think that is why these journal entries are still relatable.
It is quite fascinating to me that I can look back at what my previous self was thinking through these journal entries so I want to share a few with you.
DECEMBER 3, 2014
Have you ever thought of doing something you know you are good at, but too afraid to do it because you might lose your image and afraid that you might join the low-level of social status – as what some describe? I believe there’s something that everyone is afraid of doing because they might ruin what they established about their selves. In a world where we are called a narcissist and self-centered generation, we always consider what people say to us, that’s why we tend to show them that our life is nearly perfect for them to want to be us, or belong to our social world. I’m afraid that Generation Y sees its value in how many likes their social media gets, how many followers they have, and the numbers of things alike. When will you become your true self and not depend on how the world wants you to be? Will you care to take the first step?
You might want to read: I Quit my Job then I tried Solo Travel
NOVEMBER 4, 2014
I’m in the middle of a crisis now that involves how what and where I’m supposed to do with my life now. I’m so lost and I’m trying to figure out what I want in my life. I think this whole post-grad life sucks. Do you want an update? I resigned, so basically I’m unemployed. Torn if I want to stay in the city or live in the province. I went home last week to have some rest and quality time with my family, and also I need their help with this thing going on in my life. I asked my mom what she wants me to do and she said, either I want to stay in the province and work there or proceed and take up accountancy to be a CPA. Which is which? I’m lost and confused. Am I the only one trying to figure out what this great perhaps will be?
Since I’m wondering, I attempted to practice what I abandoned. When I was little I used to draw, I love art, and growing up I purposely ignored my artistic side because having this crazy thought that this will not help me learn the things I must know. Now that I’m trying to know who I am, I kinda ended up doing what I did when I was young, the things that I don’t have to think so much and just do it because I want to. Maybe I just want to be as ambitious as the little Roneth back then, I just want her dreams to be mine now.
OCTOBER 6, 2014
There will come a point in our lives that we want to be no one else but us. It’s the moment when we stop to prove the world our worth because we already know we are special. It’s the moment when we don’t give a crap to all the negative things they throw at us because we already realize that no matter what we do people will judge us. It’s the moment when we don’t have time to wait to be appreciated in able to feel we are loved. It’s that moment we are ready to embark on an adventure alone in discovering our true selves — with no doubts and no hesitations.
It is that exact kind of moment I’m trying to make. I know it will not be easy, but this is the path that I should take so that someday I can say to the world ” Look at me, this is the real me.”
AUGUST 28, 2014
“Do it now. Sometimes LATER becomes NEVER.”
Just 7 words that make you think that we have to act and move, and go with the flow where life takes us. I like to keep things easy, although most of the time I always complicate things unintentionally. Which I think made my life a little crazy and fun. What I’m saying is just feel what you feel, say what you gonna say, and do what you want to do. That’s it! Love the life you have, and if you don’t like it….then change it.
AUGUST 25, 2014
The thing is I’ve been currently obsessed with success. Well, I like to be successful, who doesn’t, right? But the thing is it’s not easy. There’s no shortcut. So currently I am reading a book by Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist and there’s a quote that says “The secret is here in the present. If you pay attention to the present, you can improve upon it. And, if you improve on the present, what comes later will also be better.” A good thing to keep in mind that we should keep moving forward and just do our best for the future we want. There’s no fourth dimension like the present to do what your heart tells you to do and make it count.
Do you journal as well? Let me know what you think about these entries?
jojisilia
There will always be feelings of doubt, insecurity, confusion in certain moments of our life. It is just a matter of managing those feelings; making sure that it don’t overwhelm us and prevent us from making good decisions for ourselves and for others.
armiegarde
Thank you for sharing these entries, Roneth. You have come this far and you conquered! I honor your candidness and genuine emotions on these entries. I am proud of who you have become, Roneth. Keep inspiring! I do journal, too, since I could remember. When typhoon Yolanda struck, my journals were among the stuff my dear mom made sure to retrieve and save. She used to read them, yes, and I didn’t mind. I tell her almost everything anyway. EVERYTHING. Hahaha. Journaling helps me put things into perspective. When I do, I either address it to God, to the Universe, to the multidimensional beings inside of me, and even to some people I hold dear. My journals have documented my life cycles on this planet. 🙂
Reck Adventures
“Do it now. Sometimes LATER becomes NEVER.”
I felt this so hard. It’s hard to fight against the world when you yourself is also fighting against yourself.
deercharisma
Sure am glad to know that I’m not too weird to cherish journaling alone. Nothing compares to writing your direct thought using a pen and paper. It stays with you forever and will be a constant progress tracker of your life somehow. Your words are powerful, especially the ones you say to yourself. 🙂
Carlo Olano
it’s always fun to look back at past journal entries or even past blog posts. Most of the time we will just laugh about or old selves and say I knew better I would have done this but it’s all part the adventure we call life.
Keep writing and keep growing.
Anjville - Travel Blogs and More
My… I could relate. My journals were akso kept years back (even as old as 2004). I also agree about the answer is in the present. I live in a moment and think about the future as an improvement of my self. Journaling also helps me fighting off the trauma brought by my past.
Jeane Louise Mainit
I definitely had my journals to look back and reminisce and perhaps, reflect on my best [and worst] life decisions. I still have that yearning to write my heart out rather than rant in social media. In truth, before I became a blogger, I was keeping hand written journals and diaries for myself as I don’t want the world to know about it. IT is both liberating and catharthic. I am transported into a different world everytime I write. So yeah, Journaling is a way for me to fend off not only stress, but depression too.